TURN DOUBLE OH FOUR
Deep within the beautifully hand-carved (or, rather tooth-carved) interior of the Planet of Geenuz' Ultraclassified Prisonarium sat a lonely figure in a windowless cell chuckling to himself.
The Prisonarium itself was run by a clandestine faction controlled by a cult whose real power was held by a corporation who was controlled by a small, unheard-of bureau in Kazz' empire that only three and a half people had access to.
So in other words, the beavers living their idyllic lives on the surface had no idea that the most notorious criminal in the history of space and time was giggling quietly to himself seven hundred feet below their happy little paws.
The criminal in question was a rather unkempt and wild-eyed individual known as The Sturgeon, a nickname he got from blisterbombing a fish cannery on Banania. The fact that he had even done anything remotely unpleasant on Banania had caused the upper echelons of Zung to heave and convulse in a highly aroused manner, and, with fifty percent of the intelligent life in the known universe, the Sturgeon decided to do something so totally unpredictable that it would shock everyone and make their hair stand straight up on their heads. (Which he thought, at the time, would be a fun idea.)
He would destroy the entire planet of Zung by crashing a garbage scow he had stolen into it.
The fact that this couldn't possibly have worked didn't deter him. The fact that he was, as every scientician who had examined him had concurred "a freakin' loony" was also not going to slow him down.
The fact that he had accidentally destroyed the navigational computer while playing frisbee golf with a couple of spare fire axes was going to slow him down, or, more precisely "seriously screw up his life."
He did crash land on a planet. A planet in the part of the galaxy where good, honest, sensible people didn't go around crashing things into if they wanted to keep their soft bits and their hard bits seperate. A planet that appears as a red, dangerous looking dot on every star map created outside of a few misguided worlds. A planet populated by the third most feared species in the galaxy.
The planet Geenuz.
(The first most feared species in the galaxy were the lawyers of Zung and the second most feared species was very endangered. There was only one remaining specimen of the Space-Borne Rendclaw Flashbeast of Damnia left, and it was peacefully asleep at the bottom of an ocean on Chicago.)
The Sturgeon reached into his pocket and giggled again.
After landing, he had immediately armed himself with every sharp implement he could find and ran out to wreack havoc on the world he thought was a corporolegal hell.
What he unfortunately ran into was a pack of patrolling Imperial Rodent Guards, of whom he dispatched 80% of before they put him down.
The incident was then secretly reported to the leaders of the clandestine faction who reported it to their cult masters, who reported it to their corporate overlords who reported it to that aformentioned unheard-of bureau. The message appeared on Kazz' desk, who, because he was engaged in some recreational activity with several female members of his empire, accidentally hit the "NO" button when the message "Should we kill him?" appeared on the screen.
That sort of thing happened a lot.
(the end for now)
WHAT will happen now?
WHY is he giggling?
WHAT the hell is going on?
FIND out tomorrow (or perhaps later today) when we post the conclusion!